Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
