GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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