before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
