So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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