As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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