I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
