i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize