ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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