the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
