Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize