we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
