so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
