I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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