Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
