im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
