My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
