I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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