i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
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