Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Randomize
