maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
