So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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