I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
