I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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