Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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