I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
