I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
