About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
