I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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