HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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