I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
There are leaves in my underwear?
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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