Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
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i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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