We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
