He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
