pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Why did my mother make you get naked?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
