I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
