Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Couch. On fire.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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