Got a toothbrush?
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
