We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
