smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
