Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
