So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Randomize
