This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
