Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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