Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
