...so i touched it.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
