for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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