i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize