Who wears a wallet chain?!
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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