I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
