I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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