Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
