doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
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