Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
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