are you still at the devil's house?
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize