Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
you will always have a special place in my vag
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
