i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize