i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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