you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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