We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Duck Duck Cougar?
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
