we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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